it’s the anniversary of my father’s death. i’m dealing with it fine. i think. we’ll see if i’m going to survive today or not.
so i had my teeth whitened two hours ago. they look amazing.
the doc told me i shouldn’t eat anything that could color them for A WEEK. this is the best thing, or what? i can only drink water and milk and cannot really eat anything, maybe chicken and rice. (ok, this probably isn’t true but i can’t think of anything else to eat.) cool.
i’m going to london on friday and i won’t have to worry about spending all my money on food because i’ll have to think twice what to buy!
and when i have to do that i don’t buy anything.
guys, i need some inspiration! i’ve been doing so well, but then something happened and i just keep eating. help me.
why do i feel so sick to my stomach?
i just can’t shake it. i want to throw up!
is it because the scale showed more than i expected? it’s not bad at all, especially because i spent the weekend eating and not moving an inch.
please, go away, i can’t deal with you right now. i have things to do.
i have to get up somehow. just move on.
i weighed myself 9 times the last three days, because i couldn’t believe it. it showed my lowest again. now i just want to stop eating completely. i was on my period and it showed my LOWEST. what the hell is going on?! i’m always fat as fuck.
two three days ago i stepped on the scale and i was at my lowest in 3 years i think.
i barely eat since then.
damn, this was such a successful day. i only ate like two toasts and a piece of punch cake. i woke up around 8.30am and it’s almost midnight now.
must. not. ruin. it.
i’m blown up as fuck, though. damn you, mother nature.
but at least the scale shows what i want it to show. i’m not going back to 145 lbs. NEVER.
Anonymous asked: are you anorexic/bullimic or losing weight the healthy way?
i’m not diagnosed with anything. and i don’t consider myself anorexic or bulimic. i’ve never made myself throw up and i only starve for short periods of time because i know i have to keep eating. i have a job and it’s the only thing i really like about my life right now. you need fuel to keep going. i don’t want to lose my job.
i have really depressed moments (too many to be honest), but there are good days and because of those i don’t give up.
and i have to mention that i exercise regularly.